I listen as Katlego’s footsteps pound the hallway coming toward the dormitory room I share with my best friend, Nomzamo. My heart starts beating like a thousand drums as his footsteps get closer. I say a silent prayer before slowly getting up from the couch I’ve been sitting on since I got his text this morning. He didn’t explain the reason for the visit, but I instinctively knew.
I draw a shaky breath as I watch the door handle wiggle and give way. I can hardly hear myself think now. The speech I’ve been rehearsing in my head is all gone. His scent enters the room before he does, and I smell him before I can see him. I can feel his presence now, his aura. To say that Katlego is angry with me would be an understatement.
In a split second, he’s standing right in front of me, fury written all over his face. Droplets of sweat trickle down his left temple as he looks me dead in the eye. His eyes are filled with rage – mine with fear and terror. Adrenalin is pulsating violently through my veins as I take a series of rapid breaths. My head is buzzing, and I can hardly feel my body.
He takes his jacket off and throws it on the floor, never taking his eyes off me.
“Start talking, Zinhle!” He barks.
I take a few steps back and he takes steps toward me then I freeze.
Katlego and I met at university and I remember being mesmerized the first time I laid my eyes on him. He was talking to his friend, BK, when I turned around to investigate who the dreamy scent from behind me belonged to. Our eyes met and I couldn’t take mine off him. I remember asking myself what he was doing in the registration queue of a university when he had the face that belonged on the cover of GQ magazine.
Read – Daydreamer – A Short story by Kwasi Adi-Dako, Ghana
“Kat, please!” I whimper, trying to sound as apologetic as I possibly can. “It was a mistake. We didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“You didn’t mean for what to happen, huh? Tell me what you didn’t mean to happen, Zinhle?”
“I…I,” my bottom lips quiver and I shut down.
“You can’t even say it, can you? It is so despicable even to you who did it,” he says, tears brimming in his eyes.
I’ve known Katlego for five years straight and I’ve only ever seen him cry once – The day he buried his father after his battle with cancer. I remember the long night he cried on my lap when we got back from the cemetery. I held him very tight, making him remember that I would always be there for him when he needed a shoulder or lap to cry on.
Now, here he is in front of me. Crying. I can’t make him feel better this time because I’m the one who’s caused this pain.
“Katlego, I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that. You don’t mean it.”
“But, I do. I’m sorry, Katlego. I love you and I never meant for this to happen.” I repeat, tears cascading down my face.
I haven’t cried like this since I failed my first year of medical school. Katlego is my first boyfriend and I think I was just so smitten with him. I even forgot what I had come to school for. Coupled with being young and immature, I forgot that I wasn’t the straight-A student Katlego was. But, I quickly made the necessary changes that have got me to where I am right now. A fourth-year medical student.
With his index finger on his chin, he shakes his head slowly. “I think you’re only sorry you got caught.” And then, after a short pause, he says, “What I can’t wrap my head around is, why him? Why BK?”
My heart skips a beat as soon as Bokang’s name escapes Katlego’s lips. The mere mention of his name sends shivers down my spine and sends my throat begging for some precious refreshment. The simple mention of Bokang’s name shakes me to my core and I take a seat on the couch upon the realisation that my knees might buckle under the pressure.
See, Bokang – affectionately called BK by all his friends has been haunting my very soul since about six months ago. The love I feel for him is different from the love I have for Katlego. His is the love that has taken me by surprise. It’s the kind of love I never saw coming. The kind that has kept me up at night since, refusing to let me rest.
BK and I got trapped in the elevator one day six months ago. Yes, we had known each other for quite a long time before then and I would say that even though he was best friends with Kat, I considered him my friend too. He was always the clown in the group, the one with all the jokes and a thousand friends. Everywhere we went, there was always a bunch of people who knew BK.
Read – Selfish Sun – A Short story by Charity Modise, Botswana
The two hours he and I spent in the elevator changed my view of him completely. We connected on a deeper level, a soul level. He and I felt each other in a way that we had never felt one another before. Mentally, emotionally and psychologically. I felt in tune with him. I felt like I had found my equal. That day, he reached for my hand but touched my heart instead.
Though I love Katlego, I never felt we connected the way BK and I connected that day in the elevator.
Right before the maintenance people rescued us, BK and I looked into each other’s eyes and I could read the words etched in his heart. I could feel that even though we both knew we couldn’t stay in that confined space forever, we didn’t want to leave. I felt like our souls had met before, a long time ago and had made an agreement to find one another once again in this lifetime.
“I knew from the first day I saw you, that you were the one my soul had been searching for,” Bokang said, right before we stepped out of the elevator.
Since that day, I don’t think I’ve slept peacefully through the night. His soul tortures mine in a way that I can’t even express. I see his eyes every time I close mine trying to find sleep. I can hear his heartbeat every time I try to quiet mine especially around Katlego.
I can’t and have not told this to Katlego because I know that first of all, he won’t even understand what I’m talking about. He’s intellectual – not spiritual.
I’m about to open my mouth to say something to him when I hear movement from outside my window.
Read – Smiling in the Drought – A Short story by Thatho Katiso, Lesotho
My heart thuds in my chest as I look out the window and see Bokang come up in the direction of my room. I turn around to hear the sound of a gun being cocked right in front of my face. I didn’t even realise Katlego had a gun with him.
“What are you planning to do with that?” I ask, my voice trembling from sheer panic.
“You’ll find out when your boyfriend gets here.”
“He’s not boyfriend, Kat. We haven’t done anything, I swear to you.”
There’s a knock on the door. Kat shouts for BK to come in.
“Sit down!” He shouts as soon as BK enters.
Bokang’s hands shoot up into the air as soon as he realizes what’s going on.
“Bro, what’s going on here? What are you doing?” Bokang asks.
“Shut up!” Yells Katlego, “I’m asking the questions.”
“Zinhle, are you hurt? Are you okay?” asks Bokang, trying to move closer to me.
I want to respond but I’ve turned into a statue as tears pour down my face.
“She’s fine. Don’t speak to her. Don’t even look at her.” Katlego shouts, also trying to move closer to me. “Does Zamo know about you two?”
My heart skips a beat.
“We can talk about this, bro. Put the gun away and let’s talk.” Bokang pleads. “Let Zinhle go so you and I can talk things through like men,” he continues.
Katlego chuckles. “Now you want to talk.” He says, “If my real friends at campus hadn’t told me about you two, when where you going to tell me?”
This is the moment that Nomzamo barges into the room not realizing what’s going on inside. BK reckons it’s the perfect opportunity to try and wrestle Katlego for the gun while we’re distracted by Nomzamo. They go at it as Nomzamo and I watch in terror.
“Guys, stop it!” I shout, but, they don’t.
The gun goes off almost deafening me. The wrestling on the floor comes to a halt and blood starts flowing from under the two guys.
I gasp for air. Nomzamo screams.
