Mental health is a state of wellbeing in which every individual realizes his or her potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his/her community – Minds Haven.
Going by this definition of mental health, how mentally healthy are you? As writers, we understand what it means to engage with emotions, sell these emotions, churn out words, be resilient to criticism, deal with publishers, etc. But, take a chill pill. Are we missing something mundane because we are “too professional?”
Writing is therapeutic!
Writing therapy; relieving tension and emotion, establishing self-control and understanding the situation after the words are transmitted on paper. Writing therapy is a form of expressive therapy that uses the act of writing and processing the written word as therapy. Writing therapy posits that writing one’s feelings gradually eases feelings of emotional trauma. – Source: Wikipedia
Is there a possibility that we are losing touch with writing as a therapeutic resource? Is there a possibility that instead of engaging our emotions, feelings, health, we’ve converted it into a market and all we think about is profit – followers, publishers, awards, accolades, another manuscript, etc?
Let me explain this better.
Let’s say someone criticizes your best poem and calls it “thrash”. Therapeutic writing will write a letter to the critique venting the pain and anger, talking about how long it took to write that poem. It would give the writer the opportunity to engage with everything in their mind and heart at that time.
Read – Writing a Good Piece: What Poets Should Know
However, is there a possibility that when we vent emotions we do so only because there’s a market for it? When was the last time you wrote for the bliss of seeing, feeling, engaging yourself and not responding to a prompt, writing a book, meeting a deadline?
You know that joke about how doctors don’t take drugs and how hairdressers never make their hair? I think writers forget that writing is not just for a new publication.
Like every expressive art, Writing is first for expression and not for impression. That’s why the world has never been able to agree on how a writer should be separated from his writing.
“One of the most powerful parts of therapy is cultivating the ability to observe our thoughts and feelings,” said Elizabeth Sullivan, marriage and family therapist. Writing gives us the space to observe our thoughts and feelings too just like therapy. But how often are we conscious of that?
I’m talking about writers’ mental health but I’m also shedding light on the tool of balance we already have.
If you can’t be honest with yourself in your personal writing, you certainly won’t in your publications. Neither will you even when you pay someone to work you through. You’ve got to acknowledge that you need help.
There are movie makers whose movies I don’t watch for the sake of my own sanity. There are musicians I don’t listen to for the same reason. Don’t get me wrong. They produce beautiful work but their work has always been negative and I can’t find progress in it. So I walk away.
Take a look at your writing themes. Are they progressive?
You were heartbroken so you wrote about heartbreaks, then, people began to engage with it and you loved the engagement. Is there a possibility that you have refused to heal from your heartbreak because you love the engagements? Is there a possibility that the engagement meets a psychological need you have? Is there a possibility that you’re building a self-destructive pattern to maintain the accolade? Is there a possibility the audience engagement with your pain is now an addiction?
Read – Exploring the Dialectics of Art and Criticisms
An addiction begins and gets sustained when a certain thing meets two or more psychological needs. Certainty, Variety, Growth, Significance, love & connection, contribution – these are psychological needs. There are writers staying mentally stagnant and not realizing it. I’ve heard people say I’m a depression writer – I write from other people’s experience. Awesome!
If you must write it, you must own it. Isn’t it? So, the question is – if you write depression and stick with depressive stories 365 days, how are you supposed to not feel depressed?
I get advocacy but you must set out time for your sanity or you will drown! Writing is a good tool for advocacy but, you must set aside time to maintain your sanity. My job as a writer and sex therapist has me seeing all shades of pain in people that if you told me “Mr/Miss/Mrs A, abused me” I’ll believe you. I don’t have space to not believe. Anything is possible! Just as every job has a downside, so does writing.
Read – Mental Health for Creatives – Introduction to Mental Health by Mimi Machakaire – Zimbabwe
Take character breaks
You must learn to step away from your characters, periodically. Especially, when they don’t reflect the state of your life and person. Step away! People don’t know the character, they know you. When you stay with a character too long, people begin to equate you with your characters. Worse still, you begin to bear the burden of that character, personally. Have you ever cried while writing about a character? That’s the character and you blurring. In counselling, that phenomenon is called ‘transference’ – when your client begins to transfer emotions from their personal life to you. And when you as a counsellor transfer to them, it’s called ‘countertransference’.
As a writer, maintaining your mental health is knowing when you’ve worn a character long enough. It’s giving yourself space to engage with real-life humans. It’s giving yourself space to detox
- Writing is a therapeutic tool. Use it!
- Writing is progressive. Stop staying “stuck”.
- Rest! Take a character break.
In every country, there are specific actors/actresses that come to mind when we hear words and phrases like villain, hero, wicked mum, clown, etc. They’ve consistently worn this role that if we see them in other roles, they look like aliens. Dear writer, what roles are you wearing and why do you wear them?
Finally, who are you? If we stripped writing from you, who are you? In literature, we can be larger than life. The dream of blowing and being accomplished can push us so hard we’ll think we have a life. But if they collected all of that from us, what/who will be left?
We have to make sure that our writing isn’t a place we go to hide from the real world. If it is, it means the day we lose it, life makes no more meaning. That’s why people kill themselves when they lose certain things. People run mad from losing certain things. Because those things have defined them. I need you to take away the writer and every other title, what/who will be left? If I’m not a therapist again, I’ll pack my bags and travel the world. What if I can’t travel? People believe we are ideologists. We live in our mind and not this material world but, what they don’t understand is that sometimes we are too afraid to engage for fear.
Dear Writer,
Whatever your challenge – fear, identity, validation… You need to make up your mind to heal or your writing will heal others and show them the way but, you will be stuck. We’ve seen it with musicians; lived rich; died in debt. Got married; abusive. Looked sane; were paedophiles. Looked fine; lived on drugs. They hid in their art. Their art was like a quick fix pain relief. You’ve got to heal and preserve your art. That is respect for the art and that’s an honour for yourself.
If you need a counsellor, see one.
If you need a friend, find one.
If you need love, give it first.
Live first as a human before your title – writer. When you see your humanity, you’ll pay attention to your health all round rather than just hide in your art.
About the Author
Elizabeth Akunyili (Liza_Express) is a writer, sex therapist and educator with a burning passion to see people achieve healing and come into a place of harmony regardless of their backstory. She is the founder of ‘Liza Express Consult’ – a personal brand that helps individuals achieve healing and wholesome recovery from abuse, addictions and mental health challenges. She is also a board member of the ‘Alright’s Passion Counsellors Network’ where she directs the affairs of the ‘Romance Café’. When she is not counselling, Liza is an adventurer, singer and creative writer with a knack for poetry. You can connect with her @Liza_Express or Email: contactlizaexpress@gmail.com
