It is February, a month renowned for love. Love is certainly in the air and somewhere out there, someone has, is about to, or has met someone new. However, words, poorly and unconsciously chosen, can indeed hurt not only first impressions, but also your credibility, relationships, and opportunities for any type of advancement in whichever case you may encounter in your social or professional life.
Based on personal experience, I have come up with a few words that must NEVER be said when you meet someone new…
- ‘I think …’
Saying “I think” is sometimes acceptable, but only if you truly are unsure.
Using ‘I think’ can make you appear wishy-washy. When you know something, state it directly: “The meeting will be at 3 p.m.”
- ‘I love your dress’
Avoid commenting on a person’s personal appearance or belongings – even if it’s positive – when you first meet them. It’s too personal and out of place. Even after you get to know them, be careful what you say and why.
Because of varying power relationships and pecking order in society, it’s often the safest bet to avoid comments on a person’s physique or outward appearance unless you’re certain on how it will be perceived. It might work in your favour but it might also scream: “Pervert Alert”
- ‘You look different than you sound over the phone’
Don’t begin a conversation by implying that you’re surprised, disappointed, or puzzled by the fact that the person did not meet up to your predisposed expectations.
- ‘Honestly’
Drawing attention to your honesty at that moment can lead people to wonder, “Is everything else they’re saying not true?”
- ‘You probably heard X about me, but it’s not true’
Don’t draw attention to any rumours that may be going around about you. It makes you seem like you think you’re important (maybe you are – but you don’t want to give off this impression), and maybe the person hadn’t heard the rumour, until that moment.
- ‘Can you do me a favour?’
You just met this person. Don’t immediately ask for their help.
- ‘I … I … I …’
Self-absorption should be avoided in any first conversation.
“I” is the smallest letter in the alphabet, so don’t make it the largest word in your vocabulary.
No one is impressed when a person dominates a conversation or talks too much about himself or herself, especially the first time you meet someone.
To avoid an I-centric conversation, show sincere interest in others by asking appropriate questions and actively listening. “How did you get into accounting?” “What brought you to this city?” “What do you believe are the key challenges in living in this city”. Get to know them, through good questions which foster good conversation…
8. ’How much do you make?’
The amount of money a person earns is a very personal matter.
“It’s considered rude to ask, and unconscionable on a first encounter,” she says. “If you’re really that curious, or it’s important that you know, instead of committing this faux pas, do some research on sites like Glassdoor, PayScale, Salary.com.”
We all stand to improve our ability to craft a positive first impression, particularly in the words we say.
Perhaps, the most effective remedy is to focus on the best interests of the other person because, nearly all the faults of conversation are caused by a lack of consideration.
Be careful of what you say, when you meet someone new.
Read Love – An Article by Ugbede Ataboh, Nigeria
